Whether you're planning a huge shindig or an intimate affair, your guest list is one of the most important things you'll have to consider when planning your wedding. If you've got lots of money saved up (or lots of help paying for your big day), you may have no problem with inviting everyone and their dog, but if you're like me and budget is a factor, chances are you're going to want to keep your guest list relatively small. As I suggested in my previous post, the guest list will be what determines the size (and in a lot of cases, the location) of your wedding venue, so you need to put this at the top of your to-do list.
But it's easier said than done...and it never fails that there will be someone who wants an invite. Or someone who is invited but wants to bring more people with them.
But it's easier said than done...and it never fails that there will be someone who wants an invite. Or someone who is invited but wants to bring more people with them.
So what do you do? You can't possibly accommodate everyone, especially if you're serving a plate dinner at upwards of $20 per plate. You need an "A" list and a "B" list. Your "A" list consists of the people you wouldn't dream of not inviting: parents, siblings, besties, you know, the people to whom you're closest. Add to that their plus-ones, and their kiddos (unless you prefer a kid-free wedding--I'll cover that in a future post). Your "B" list is the people whom you'd like to attend, but your feelings won't be terribly hurt if they can't make it: coworkers, friends you only hang out with on occasion, extended family, work clients, et cetera, and their respective plus-ones. This is where you have to get your parents and future in-laws involved. Chances are, they have a few folks they'd like to invite, and these people are reserved for the "B" list. You may have to put your foot down about which list people go on, though, especially if you're on a tight budget or if your preferred venue has limited capacity.
When people hear you're getting married, they're happy for you. They want to share in your joy, and they want to be there for the party. Keep that in mind--most people are there for the party. They'll endure your ceremony for the promise of some good food and drink and having a good time on the dance floor in nice clothes. Yes, they're genuinely happy for you, but they're happier about having a reason to party down. Who do you really want to party down with? That's your "A" list. Who do you not mind seeing you cut loose and have a good time on the best day of your life? Invite those people. As for Susie from third grade or Bob from three jobs ago or that one girl you met at your bestie's Pampered Chef party...not so much. When they ask about their invite, instead of being snarky and telling them straight up they're not invited, I offer you these words: "Due to limited space, we're keeping it very small...but we'd love to get together with you sometime after the honeymoon!" And leave it at that. They'll either get it, or they won't.
When people hear you're getting married, they're happy for you. They want to share in your joy, and they want to be there for the party. Keep that in mind--most people are there for the party. They'll endure your ceremony for the promise of some good food and drink and having a good time on the dance floor in nice clothes. Yes, they're genuinely happy for you, but they're happier about having a reason to party down. Who do you really want to party down with? That's your "A" list. Who do you not mind seeing you cut loose and have a good time on the best day of your life? Invite those people. As for Susie from third grade or Bob from three jobs ago or that one girl you met at your bestie's Pampered Chef party...not so much. When they ask about their invite, instead of being snarky and telling them straight up they're not invited, I offer you these words: "Due to limited space, we're keeping it very small...but we'd love to get together with you sometime after the honeymoon!" And leave it at that. They'll either get it, or they won't.
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